We begin to search for reality by keeping quiet. By becoming still. By quieting the mind. By making our life simple. By not getting involved in too many things in this world. We begin to slow down our activities. So we have more time to be with ourselves. We look for moments of solitude. When the TV isn't playing, when the radio isn't playing, when the phone is not ringing, we're not talking to friends or neighbors you enjoy those moments more and more and more and you fond happiness in those moments. Real happiness. Happiness that comes from within, from reality. Not the happiness that is fleeting that is here today and gone tomorrow. But true happiness, it is everlasting. Unalloyed happiness which never changes. Because we can begin to search for these things something in us, you can call it God's grace may lead you to the right book or to the right teacher or to the right environment where we will be able to go further. Where we get to the point where nothing can disturb us any longer. Whether there is conflict in the family, problems at work, cataclysms in the world, we no longer react to these things. We just watch and we leave them alone. You acquire a feeling of invincibility you're invincible. A feeling of being alive forever and ever and nothing can ever hurt you or destroy you. You've always been, you'll always be. You sort of feel this. And from then on you're always happy and peaceful and nothing can ever bother you again. You have done this to yourself. Nobody can do it for you. I have summarized the whole thing for you but actually you go through many experiences before you get to that state. You go through many doubts apprehensions, suspicions. Many times in spiritual life you want to chuck the whole thing out, you want to throw it away. You feel it's not working for you. You think it's a lie it doesn't exist there is no spiritual life, everyone's gone through this stage. It's called the dark night of the soul. When you feel like committing suicide. You feel so terrible. All the dark forces attack you from all directions. And you want to chuck it all out, throw it all away, forget about it. But as you hold on to something within in reality, a spark of light the darkness will ultimately leave you and again you will find peace. Again you will find harmony. And again something may happen to you. You may develop cancer, AIDS. You may have to go into bankruptcy. So again you say to yourself, "If this is what spiritual life is all about I don't want it at all. I don't need this." You say this because you do not know what is happening. In order for you to grow and become your real self all of the stuff that has been inside of you has to be totally transcended. All the stuff that is in us and we have alot of stuff in us. There is stuff completely to the top. There is stuff of images, beliefs, concepts, dogma, fears doubts, suspicions this is our stuffing. In order to empty yourself it may appear that you're getting worse. The fears multiply themselves. The doubts become more terrible than they've ever been before. This is the change that is coming into your life. In other words if you want self-realization you've got to get rid of everything. Everything that you've been holding onto. Everything that you've been holding onto, everything. I mean give it up mentally. If things happen physically you just don't react to it. But mentally you give up all the stuff that has been bothering you for all these years. You surrender everything to God. Empty yourself out completely, totally. Again you do this by not reacting to anything. Not allowing the world to get to you, show you anything. You keep holding on and holding on. Holding on to nothing. Becoming nothing more and more. No longer worrying. Then all of a sudden you see a light inside of you. The light brings you untold happiness and peace. The light grows steadily. The lights in your heart. The light of a thousand suns. To give everything up to this light. You're no longer afraid. You are free. (Robert A)